Hello my fellow bloggers/readers/aspiring thin people/friends,
Unfortunately, I have fallen sick and therefore couldn’t really post anything. Staying on track with my paper journal was a pain in the ass already and I realized just how much time I spent in front of screens so I decided that my blog would have to be paused for the moment. While we’re at it, I have to admit that I have been slacking a little while I was sick and I even fixed myself a cookie dough fix. Yes. Despite the incident. What can I say? I was craving and the book/method requires you to listen to your body and allow yourself whatever it is your body wants. Mine wanted cookie dough.
Did I follow every rule? If you combine the days and use one template of journal, then yes. If not, no. Like I said, tonight I ate more than I needed. Instead of laying on the couch and watching Brooklyn 99 all day long, I should have listened to the audio trance yesterday. Oh well. #noragrets
On Sunday I was lucky enough to get some good shots of the city in the fall. You are always more than welcome to visit my photoblog any time – even though I have been really lazy with it and really needs a facelift.
Tomorrow is the first weigh-in and I am very anxious. I know I shouldn’t be but I am. The book says that it doesn’t matter whether or not you’ve already lost weight or not as long as you feel that way. I feel thinner and as though my body has become more firm but I am still anxious to step on that scale tomorrow.
YAY ME! I finally listened to the audio trance. I am so proud of myself. I would say that Day 9 has been the best day so far – and I am not even talking about just the rules. 6/8 is pretty good, of course, but I also had a wonderful day all together because a) the sun was out and the temperatures were a.m.a.z.i.n.g. and b) I met a really sweet girl and we had a great time hanging out (still looking for more friends) and c) got to talk to my BFF for hours on the phone and d) I moved around a lot which really boosted my energy. Just listening to the audio trance and thus the feeling of accomplishment was very satisfying. I felt like I could conquer anything. Just like the book demands, I was hungry and I felt like late-night-cake. We had some super rich cake at 11.30 pm and it didn’t even bother me. I ate slowly and left some cake on the plate but it sure was nice not having to worry about anything. The method gives you so much quality in life, I strongly recommend it anybody with weight issues.
I needed that boost. My mood had been down for the first 8 days of this journey.
Day 10 will also become very active. The BF and I will be hiking around all day – without cell phones. I cannot wait. We both look forward to getting out of the city and breathing some fresh air in the woods.
On this day, the journal requests a brief recap of the past week. There are questions to be answered and it’s a great tool to set your focus in the right direction.
The hardest part of the past week was going by the rules. I cannot let go of my eating habbits, I do good for a while and then I start falling off the wagon. Ususally in the evening. All I want is to drop weight, become healthy and be able to feel good about myself. This must sound ridiculous but it’s almost as though I have been taken over by my evil self that keeps eliminating attempts and progresses just by suffocating the good me. The fire I want to start doesn’t stand any chance at all. I am incredribly frustrated and I take it out on everybody. Will I ever be skinny once I turn 30? Will I even make it to 30?
There is a great difference between knowing something and realising its impact. Deep down, I always knew I could either be my best friend or my worst enemy. When I met my friend B., I felt as though I was pushing away the evil me and hugging the good me so hard we merged into one. Today, the evil bitch is back and I feel powerless. Oh how I wish to punch that cunt in the face and give her a kick in the ass so hard she just wants to flee. All my anger should be channeled into creating the life I want and I know I should transform that hate energy into positive thinking. Blablabla. I know all that. But it doesn’t change that I am weak in certain situations. I guess I learned that I REALLY seriously need to listen to the audio track the book came with.
There were three things that I should set as a goal for week two.
I only want to eat when I am really really hungry.
I want to live healthy and I want to take every step towards a healthy lifestyle (smokingwise).
I want to meet new people and be open (Being relatively new to the city, I figured it might be great to meet new friends).
ATM, I am utterly frustrated with myself. I know the book wants you to always be loving towards yourself but I currently feel like having a split personality and I really wanna get rid of the mean one. Let’s hope I will figure this out in week two!