Yes! I feel like the first results are currently becoming more and more visible. My legs seem to slim up. However, my legs never really were fat in the first place. The majority of my fat lives in my belly area. According to my BF, my belly sticks out more (even when I suck it in). With my legs now slimming down I will look like Gru from ‘Despicable me’: Tiny legs, giant belly. My OBGYN made me fill out a form and was surprised by what I filled in and told me I looked skinnier 🙂 🙂 Then again, I am very tall and people are usually distracted by my legs and only see my belly area after they look twice.
But wait, there is more!
Christmas is around the corner and my writing gigs have been slow these days, I had to find a new job to get some money. You know the story; starving artist in a big city. Lucky me managed to land two jobs and I still have to decide which one I would like. Both are office-related. One is 4 to 6 week-gig. I’m kinda feeling that one more but I will try out the other on Friday and hopefully then be able to figure out which job I want.
Moving has been quite an easy task for me on Day 21 because I had many meetings and dates spread across the city. My pedometer showed more than 10,000 steps at midnight and after that it starts counting new again. I met with the boys and we had some beer and – OMG idk what is wrong with me – smoked a lot. Today will be a new trial run, I am sick and tired of smoking but in certain situations I simply cannot help myself but smoke.
This weekend was filled with cigarettes. I don’t know why I can’t refrain from smoking. Despite the fact I have been crazy sick Friday, I suddenly felt much better. The BF and I drank an entire keg. Our neighbor came over at 3 am and brought cigarettes. That night, I smoked two cigarettes.
On Saturday, I felt much better. Our neighbor asked me to take him shopping. We smoked another two cigarettes that afternoon. The BF and I drove to a birthday party in our original home town. I was the DD but that didn’t stop me from smoking almost another pack. Disgusting! Weirdly enough, I have no problem with not drinking but all of a sudden I need to smoke?! WTF?! Giving up smoking is hard AF. It’s the hardest thing I can imagine. Even harder than med school and that shit sucked the life out of me.
Even worse: I continued this stupid behavior on Sunday. WTF is wrong with me?! The BF does not approve. My mother does not approve. Everybody wants me to be safe and healthy. Why do I smoke? Giving up drinking all together wouldn’t be a problem for me at all but smoking (I don’t smoke during the week and barely on weekends).
Today, I experience the worst cough (which brought upon myself) and I deeply regret everything. This pain has led me to the idea to add a ‘I didn’t smoke’-checkbox to my journal. Maybe this will help.
Apart from deep regret regarding my smoking habits, I have some news:
I am starting to feel skinnier! Finally! While at my parents’ I did not step on their fancy scale because I decided it wouldn’t matter anymore. The scale was supposed to show me progress – regardless of the number it shows. It was supposed to simply show me whether not my weight has decreased. But at what cost? The first weigh-in made me super mad and feel bad about myself. It ruined my day and it’s simply not worth the energy. It’s only a stupid box on the floor. Why do we let it have so much power over us? My weigh-ins will be skipped. I shall no longer weigh myself every 15 days. Those days will be just like the others.
And the best: My belt shows me that I am one belt hole closer to my goal.
The weather was gorgeous. I am big fall lover thus I had to be outside for the golden time and see nature’s most beautiful phase. Since my BF seems to be under a lot of stress lately, we decided not to use our phones (I broke the rule by taking pictures with it before popping out my DLSR) and instead search for serenity.
The BF chose a route to hike. It was bloody long. We got see the Löwenburg in Rhöndorf or let’s say we got to sit on ruins of a castle while we got to enjoy the most beautiful view ever – combined with beautiful weather. My weight issues were clearly presented to me on the way up as geriatric joggers passed me by while I couldn’t breathe and my heart was acting up. As a formerly thin person, I know how much easier moving around is once you drop a certain weight. I cannot wait to get there again.
My activity tracker counted 22.993 steps until midnight. After our hike we went to Ikea to grab a bite and then walked through the entire thing without buying anything (very proud of myself). Once we got home we took quick showers and changed, then hopped on the train to meet our friends. I felt glorious. Being outside isn’t really on my mind anymore but there is nothing more relaxing than a walk through the woods.
I ate some candy, I ate real food. I enjoyed it all. For my late-night-snack after drinking, I decided to let everybody have a bite to try. Hanging out with hungry guys is a good way to drop weight because they take giant bites. I only ended up eating half of what I ordered and that was more than enough. I felt fine not eating that much. Actually, that might be the biggest change I am currently experiencing: I get by with lesser food. The down side: The BF eats up my left-overs although he himself is very unhappy with his weight and he wants to drop some weight as well.
YAY ME! I finally listened to the audio trance. I am so proud of myself. I would say that Day 9 has been the best day so far – and I am not even talking about just the rules. 6/8 is pretty good, of course, but I also had a wonderful day all together because a) the sun was out and the temperatures were a.m.a.z.i.n.g. and b) I met a really sweet girl and we had a great time hanging out (still looking for more friends) and c) got to talk to my BFF for hours on the phone and d) I moved around a lot which really boosted my energy. Just listening to the audio trance and thus the feeling of accomplishment was very satisfying. I felt like I could conquer anything. Just like the book demands, I was hungry and I felt like late-night-cake. We had some super rich cake at 11.30 pm and it didn’t even bother me. I ate slowly and left some cake on the plate but it sure was nice not having to worry about anything. The method gives you so much quality in life, I strongly recommend it anybody with weight issues.
I needed that boost. My mood had been down for the first 8 days of this journey.
Day 10 will also become very active. The BF and I will be hiking around all day – without cell phones. I cannot wait. We both look forward to getting out of the city and breathing some fresh air in the woods.
Throughout the day, I did really well. I waited until I was really hungry. I only tasted my homemade sauce once (and it good. Really good.) and I drank plenty of water. I did the mirror exercise (read the book), ate consciously and enjoyed every mouthfull. Until 8 pm, things looked like they were going pretty smoothly.
Then we received a text message.
Our friend lost his dear grandmother and it was a no-brainer to go see him and show some support. I ended up drinking a lot of beer mixed with either Coke or Sprite (four to be exact) and I snacked on some chips despite the fact that my stomach was very full due to the beer intake. We stayed out until 3 am.
Today, my ‘parents in law’ are coming over to help renovate the place, so little sleep and a lot work are ahead of me.
I had potato salad for breakfast, broccoli as an alternative for rice for lunch. The ‘rice’ was store-bought, I just added some oil into my wok and later some Pesto. Tasty AF. At around 8 pm, I had half a plate of fries. Late-night snack: Brötchen.
Did I move?
Yes. On my way to my dinner date, I missed one stop as I was listening to some good music. I realized when it was too late, got off on the next stop, walked back. After my dinner date, I stoped by my brother’s which is quite a walk from and to the station. After I had returned to the station to get home, I realized I had missed the last train and only had two minutes left to reach the last bus. Ran as fast as I could. Made it in time. Had to get on the train, only had one minute left. Ran even faster. Yelled at a lady who was blocking the stairs. Made it just in time.
Did I only eat when hungry?
Yes. Especially my fries were way better because I really enjoyed them due to my hunger.
Did I enjoy my food?
All but my Brötchen. I ate it on the way. After it was gone, I realized I should have taken some time to savour the taste. Next time.
Did drink plenty of water?
Yes. Water and two glasses of wine.
Postive things about yesterday?
Dinner date, visiting my brother and his roomie.
What would I like to do tomorrow?
Finally get started with painting the livingroom, maybe meet some friends.